


Nobody's Fault But Mine Part One

by ValarieWinchester



Series: Supernatural Chronicles [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1869930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValarieWinchester/pseuds/ValarieWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can Valarie deal with her new situation?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody's Fault But Mine Part One

The sound in her head was deafening. She couldn’t make out what anyone was actually saying, but instead it sounded like thousands of people all speaking at once.  
“Concentrate,” Cas ordered.  
“I’m trying,” she snapped back. Her temper was on a shorter fuse these days and it seemed like everything set her off. She knew that he was only trying to help her, but dammit if Cas didn’t annoy the shit out of her. She went back to trying to focus on one voice out of the multitude, but again all she was getting was a roar of sound. She was concentrating so hard that she was physically shaking.  
“You’re not trying hard enough.” That was it.  
“Fuck you!” she yelled. Suddenly the light that was above her shattered along with her anger. She swiped her arm across the table next to her, scattering books and papers all on the floor.  
“Valarie, I’m only…” Before he could even finish his sentence, she stormed out of the room and into the hallway, leaving Cas in the soundproof room alone. She stormed out of the bunker and got into her car, slamming the door shut behind her. She revved the engine and blared Metallica as she skidded her tires turning her car toward her home.  
***  
It had been 3 months since Metatron had turned her into an angel. And she hated everyday of it. The sound in her head was what her husband referred to as “Angel radio” and she couldn’t turn it off. She had made up some excuse a month ago to her parents about needing to work out of town and not being able to take JD with her so he was staying with them. It had gotten to the point where she couldn’t deal with the noise in her head and her son. Dean was always working, leaving her alone a lot of the time. Cas, feeling guilty for what happened to her, was there to try to help her adjust to her new “powers.” She didn’t sleep anymore. She never felt hungry or thirsty. And she was angry. All the time. But then, anyone would be angry if they never got a moment of peace because of the sounds constantly in their head. When the incident occurred, she took part of the blame away from Cas and felt sad that Dean had openly blamed him for what happened to her. However, the more that time passed, she had come to believe that it was all his fault. He should have never taken her to Metatron without Dean and Sam being there. He had to have known it wasn’t going to end well. And it damned sure didn’t.  
The house was empty when she got there. She walked around, not able to sit still, and fumed at her fucked up situation. And there was nothing that she could do about it, which made her even angrier.  
“FUCK!” she yelled at no one. Electronic items around her switched on and lights flickered as she just stood there and let her anger rage within her. Suddenly she felt as if she was no longer alone. She turned and saw a man standing in the doorway of her living room. And it was a man that she could have gone without seeing.  
“Don’t stop,” he said. “I’m rather liking the show.” Crowley stood and watched her reaction.  
“Get the fuck out of my house,” she said angrily.  
“Before I’ve said what I’ve come to say? That wouldn’t be very nice of me now would it?” He entered the living room and walked past her as her eyes never left him.  
“Say what you want and then leave.”  
“I was just going to offer to help you, but if you’re going to be inhospitable then I won’t even offer.” He stilled and looked at her with amusement. Hers was a look of confusion.  
“How could you possibly help me? And why should I trust you?” He sat on the sofa and smiled at her.  
“Because I’m the only one that’s not going to tell you that I can fix this problem of yours. Or that I can help you overcome it.”  
“Then how…?”  
“I can help you use your new powers. You’re angry. I can see that by the electronic display that was going on when I came in. Who exactly are you angry at, Valarie?” She thought about his question. She didn’t have an answer. She was angry at Cas for putting her in the position in the first place. She was angry at Dean for always leaving her alone as if he was avoiding her. She was angry at Sam for treating her as if she was sick and they could find a cure. And she was angry at herself for making the stupid mistake to follow Cas in the first place. “Let me guess,” Crowley interrupted her thoughts. “You don’t have an answer because you’re angry at everyone?” She was silent and he continued. “I will never lie to you and I will never use you or your new powers for myself. But if you come and work with me, we can do so much.” She stared him in disbelief.  
“Why would I work with you? You stole my son from me.”  
“And I gave him back. Unharmed.” She couldn’t argue with that. It was the truth.  
“What could I possibly do to help you?”  
“Think about it. Who ran Hell before I took over?”  
“Lucifer,” she answered.  
“And what was he?” It was as if a light bulb came on over her head. Lucifer was an angel like her. “That’s right. Together, we could run Hell and would be unstoppable.”  
“How is that not using my powers, as you say?”  
“Because you would have a say in everything. I wouldn’t be in charge of you. We would be partners.”  
“I don’t even trust you,” she said. “How can I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?”  
“Because, like I said, I will never lie to you. In fact, I have never lied to you. Can you say the same about the others in your life?” He stood and walked over to her while she took in what he just said to her. “I’ll let you think about my offer. I’m sure I’ll see you again.” And with that, he was gone.  
***  
“I’ll just be gone a few days, Valarie. Why are you getting so upset?” Her eyes glared at her husband who was packing yet another bag to go on yet another hunting trip. “It’s my job, remember? You have never had issues before.”  
“I’ve also never had to deal with you being gone so much before, Dean. You are gone all the time and when you are home, you’re only here for a day or so before you and Sam leave again. That’s why I’m upset.” He walked over to her as if to embrace her and she moved away from him. “No, that’s not going to make it all better. Go. Leave me home alone. Again.” She turned away from him and waited. Her blood started boiling when she heard the door open and then close. No apology. No explanation. Nothing. He just left. And she was abandoned at home. She walked out of the room and down the stairs into the living room.  
“Valarie, we need to talk.” Cas stood there with worry in his blue eyes.  
“Dammit, Cas, you have got to stop just popping in whenever you feel like it.” His sudden appearance had made her jump. “You scared the hell out of me.”  
“I know that Crowley came to see you.”  
“What? How?” She knew that Cas and Crowley wouldn’t have had a meeting to discuss her. That just wasn’t possible. There was one only explanation for how he could have known. “Have you been following me?” He dropped his eyes and she knew the truth. “What the hell, Cas? Why the fuck have you been following me?”  
“Because I was concerned…”  
“Don’t give me that shit, man. You thought I would try to use my ‘powers’ in front of people, didn’t you? You don’t trust me.”  
“That’s not it, Valarie. I was worried that demons would harm you.”  
“Oh, and I can’t take care of myself, is that it? I guess you forgot that I was a hunter before this. I know how to take care of a fucking demon. I’m not useless, Cas.” Her grey eyes flashed with anger at him and he took a careful step toward her.  
“I know that. I’m trying to help you…”  
“Yea, you’re trying to help me so you can use me. Is that it?”  
“No…”  
“Tell the truth!” He took a deep breath before answering her.  
“It is true that I want you to help me. You know that there is trouble among the angels. I need help on my side to convince…”  
“I knew it,” she said, cutting him off. “Get out of my house, Cas.”  
“Valarie…”  
“Get out!” With that, Cas let out a breath of defeat and disappeared.  
***  
“You were right,” she said, angrily. “Dean avoids me and Cas just wants to use me.”  
“So you’ve made a decision then?” he asked. She looked at Crowley and anger flared in her eyes.  
“Yes.”  
TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
